my typing thing is being really silly so i have to learn how to manage it correctly. this is my first time actually trying to legit make a paragraph on this computer. i normally would use my personal chromebook, but im @ school. i actually used to be really good at html, but i lost my spark or whatever ud call it, so now i dont even remember how to add imgs. after a little bit of research, its 5min ltr and i remember how to add imgs! im going to a school dance with my best friend tonight. im really excited. me n him r going out into the town while we wait for the dance to start, and then we are gonna buy our tickets at the door of the dance. its gonna be super fun. he wants to go to 711 and thats cool because i brought 20 extra dollars. i really cant wait til schools out! 1 hr and 30 mins until we get to go!! i feel like im slowly losing my mind because nothing feels right and i cant tell the real and the fake apart. i have sleep apnea and im getting a sleepstudy and tonsillectomy. ive never been put under and had surgery. im worried about the pain. i dont really care much tho. i wonder if ill ever fall in love. i feel like my loneliness wont ever leave and i wont ever feel anything romantic .
entry2
im in fourth period today until we're let out of class. i have to call my grandma today once we r let out. its her 62nd birthday. shes probably my favorite person in the world. i love my grandma :) i dont know what else to put here. today has been kind of boring. not kind of. VERY. VERY VERY VERY boring. ive been going to bed early lately. i like the way i feel in the morning when im well rested. but it goes against my nature to go to bed early. ive been a night person since forever. i have to take melatonin to fall asleep on time. i added an iframe thingy so i can add music, but im not sure its going to work. i found it on https://hopp.neocities.org/audio , and i think it'll work. smells like teen spirit is my least favorite nirvana song. ive heard it a thousand times over and over, and im sort of tired of it. i think aneurysm is my fav nirvana song. i forgot how to change the site background and font. i feel stupidish. if you click the teeny square that is at the end of this paragraph, the minecraft disc cat will play. im planning on adding other songs too, but for now this is the best ive got! if you click the square again, itll turn black and the music will pause. im so annoyed!! i got my period today, and my cramps are SOOOOOOO bad!! im also out of bracelet string so im super miserable :(. i hate periods. it feels like when ur dad is tickling u and he tickles u too hard but ur laughing because its tickling but then the feeling afterwards and it hurts badly and you're grabbing at ur ribs in pain. like that but on the inside. i can feel the blood coming out and it hurts. im gonna ask my mom to take me to the grocery store tonight because im very hungry and we dont have any snacks or food really at home. im so excited for my tonsillectomy. i hate having sleep apnea. we get out of school at 11:50. i feel like my mom hates me. yesterday we were talking about dentist stuff and she mentioned how she was glad she no longer had to worry about my teeth because i had metal caps on them. i lost all of my capped teeth a year ago, and i told her about it. am i really not worth her memory? does she even care about me? i remember everything about her. and she remembers everything about benny. but why am i not worth it? why am i an afterthought ALL THE TIME. am i that awful? am i really that horrible? i just feel like the people who love me dont love me back and i hate it. i hate hate hate hate hate it. i might get on birth control. i know im 12 and im definitely not interested in sex, but my mom says it helps with acne and period cramps. it sounds nice and she said the pills are teeny, which is cool. im good about swallowing big pills too, so i dont rly care about pill size. i dont have a very strong gag reflex, so i can dry swa;low them with ease. i dont really like doing that tho, its uncomfortable. big hero 6 is on the class tv right now, and the boys in the back are playing chess. i like listening to them talk. theyre pretty funny, if im being honest. sometimes i have to supress laughter and stuff. class is out in 7 minutes.
entry3
its saturday and im feeling kinda off. i think i might have depression. i feel like everything is hopeless and im useless. im so tired, mentally and physically, even though i went to bed at like 22:00 last night. =(. i think the font for this site is comic sans, which IS cool but i dont like it for a blog-site thing. its more of a google slide type of thing imo. i just checked and nevermind, its in a fancy looking font. it just shows up different on my school computer because the default on there is comic sans. on there, even index.html editing is in comic sans. i dont know why i set it to that.
entry4
YOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! its fr been a billion years since i posted on ts. its mid 2023 rn nd im pretty sure the last time i posted on this was like mid december 2022... (its june 14th 2023) SCHOOLS OUT IN 2 DAYS FUCK YEA!!!!! i hate school. im gonna get skinny this summer. im so fat fr. screaming. anyways. ;) toodlessss!!!!!
